Exibitionism, huh? Little Ashley-Pitt surpises me more and more every day! ::laughs::
I like how the rhythm of the sentences shows how Louis is feeling (hurried and horny, most likely). You pulled it off well. I just overall liked the flow of words in this piece.
So here's Louis with his back up against a locker and the metal creaking every time he moves and Eric straddling his thighs This image while quite hot, confuses me a little. How can Eric straddle his thighs without falling over? They are vertical, right?
Also, who is Dai? I mean, whose nickname is that? I think I'm just being stupid, but I still want to know.
Yay! I like it! I should try to force you to write smut one of these days. Hee.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2005-09-13 05:51 pm (UTC)Exibitionism, huh? Little Ashley-Pitt surpises me more and more every day! ::laughs::
I like how the rhythm of the sentences shows how Louis is feeling (hurried and horny, most likely). You pulled it off well. I just overall liked the flow of words in this piece.
So here's Louis with his back up against a locker and the metal creaking every time he moves and Eric straddling his thighs
This image while quite hot, confuses me a little. How can Eric straddle his thighs without falling over? They are vertical, right?
Also, who is Dai? I mean, whose nickname is that? I think I'm just being stupid, but I still want to know.
Yay! I like it! I should try to force you to write smut one of these days. Hee.