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figletofvenice wanted pr0n, and sandy got distracted
Sep. 14th, 2005 04:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valmoraBecause, as always, I am incapable of saying no to my dear friend figletofvenice. Or, um, anyone, really. At least when it comes to fic.
Anyway,figletofvenice said she should pester me to write smut for the tGE AU.
I thought about it.
Louis and Eric said, "Naaaah."
Roger said, "I don't get laid anyway."
Willie had previously locked the door.
RJ was hiding in a closet.
And Sandy said, "Ah, what the hell. Wait, what the hell?!"
The end result was:
makeshift title: "figletofvenice wanted pr0n, and sandy got distracted"
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: tGE AU
Pairing: Sandy+Roger unrequitedness.
Disclaimer: Hoo boy. Sandy MacDonald, Roger Bartlett, Rupert Ramsey, and any other characters mentioned herein belong not to me but to MGM/UA. I have merely borrowed them and, withfigletofvenice, made certain significant characterisational changes from the original movie.
Notes: this is not actually pr0n. This is Sandy musing on how he wishes his life contained more pr0n.
I meant it to be hot, or failing that, maybe happy. No. Angst and romantic depression. I am incapable of writing fluff, I tell you! (hmm... I should try to write, like, Roger/Mac fluff just as an exercise. Ow, my skull burns.)
Sandy doesn't quite get it when people assume that he's easy. It feels like he's reading a sentence where the verb got left out - "he it in the dorm room, you go it?" - and makes him all tetchy and frustrated.
Eric is easy. Willie is easy. Sandy is not.
Sandy's never even kissed someone who's not a girl, damn it (or at least, not since he was twelve and commandeered Roger's Sprite, and that doesn't really count). And any guy who tried to pull anything stupid would eat his own teeth, so he doesn't get why he has this reputation as being available.
He's not. Not for any smoochy reason like he's waiting for Mr. Right, but because his availability is based on the answer to the question 'Would I laugh if I saw you naked?'
Answer is almost always yes, so Sandy's availability is limited.
So maybe it's significant that the only people who can make demands on however much of his time they want are Roger, RJ, and Eric.
And maybe if he saw Roger naked he'd laugh, but it wouldn't be the kind of laugh where it's funny. It'd be the kind of laugh where it says that the person laughing is embarrassed and a little bit out of his depth, because the only way he'd ever get to see Roger like that would be if Roger suddenly had a momentous change of heart.
Sandy is expecting Roger to have a momentous change of heart like he is expecting the tables in the science wing to get up and moonwalk. No, the dance step, not the orbiting planetoid.
So he doesn't expect anything and never has, but there are things he thinks about, sometimes, like the line of Roger's shoulders, what they'd feel like to the touch. What the heat of him is like, skin to skin and Sandy knows he's got it bad.
He doesn't do the symbolic-desperate-dream thing. He does the thinks-of-him-too-often thing and the hates-Roger's-girlfriends thing, but not the dreams, and he sometimes wishes he did, because that way he'd have known for a little while what it felt like to have Roger, losing himself in a slow building of heat between them. If that knowing didn't last longer than the moment he opened his eyes, then that would be okay, because Sandy's not going to be a bitch about it. There are guys, and there's Roger, and there're Roger's girls, whose names Sandy never even bothers to learn.
They never last very long, so it never matters, and Sandy can laugh about it with Roger and RJ afterwards. Calls them 'sweet and easy, like lo-cal sugar and just as fake,' and feels gratified every time Roger laughs at it.
figletofvenice. Or, um, anyone, really. At least when it comes to fic.Anyway,
figletofvenice said she should pester me to write smut for the tGE AU.I thought about it.
Louis and Eric said, "Naaaah."
Roger said, "I don't get laid anyway."
Willie had previously locked the door.
RJ was hiding in a closet.
And Sandy said, "Ah, what the hell. Wait, what the hell?!"
The end result was:
makeshift title: "
figletofvenice wanted pr0n, and sandy got distracted"Rating: PG-13
Fandom: tGE AU
Pairing: Sandy+Roger unrequitedness.
Disclaimer: Hoo boy. Sandy MacDonald, Roger Bartlett, Rupert Ramsey, and any other characters mentioned herein belong not to me but to MGM/UA. I have merely borrowed them and, with
figletofvenice, made certain significant characterisational changes from the original movie.Notes: this is not actually pr0n. This is Sandy musing on how he wishes his life contained more pr0n.
I meant it to be hot, or failing that, maybe happy. No. Angst and romantic depression. I am incapable of writing fluff, I tell you! (hmm... I should try to write, like, Roger/Mac fluff just as an exercise. Ow, my skull burns.)
Sandy doesn't quite get it when people assume that he's easy. It feels like he's reading a sentence where the verb got left out - "he it in the dorm room, you go it?" - and makes him all tetchy and frustrated.
Eric is easy. Willie is easy. Sandy is not.
Sandy's never even kissed someone who's not a girl, damn it (or at least, not since he was twelve and commandeered Roger's Sprite, and that doesn't really count). And any guy who tried to pull anything stupid would eat his own teeth, so he doesn't get why he has this reputation as being available.
He's not. Not for any smoochy reason like he's waiting for Mr. Right, but because his availability is based on the answer to the question 'Would I laugh if I saw you naked?'
Answer is almost always yes, so Sandy's availability is limited.
So maybe it's significant that the only people who can make demands on however much of his time they want are Roger, RJ, and Eric.
And maybe if he saw Roger naked he'd laugh, but it wouldn't be the kind of laugh where it's funny. It'd be the kind of laugh where it says that the person laughing is embarrassed and a little bit out of his depth, because the only way he'd ever get to see Roger like that would be if Roger suddenly had a momentous change of heart.
Sandy is expecting Roger to have a momentous change of heart like he is expecting the tables in the science wing to get up and moonwalk. No, the dance step, not the orbiting planetoid.
So he doesn't expect anything and never has, but there are things he thinks about, sometimes, like the line of Roger's shoulders, what they'd feel like to the touch. What the heat of him is like, skin to skin and Sandy knows he's got it bad.
He doesn't do the symbolic-desperate-dream thing. He does the thinks-of-him-too-often thing and the hates-Roger's-girlfriends thing, but not the dreams, and he sometimes wishes he did, because that way he'd have known for a little while what it felt like to have Roger, losing himself in a slow building of heat between them. If that knowing didn't last longer than the moment he opened his eyes, then that would be okay, because Sandy's not going to be a bitch about it. There are guys, and there's Roger, and there're Roger's girls, whose names Sandy never even bothers to learn.
They never last very long, so it never matters, and Sandy can laugh about it with Roger and RJ afterwards. Calls them 'sweet and easy, like lo-cal sugar and just as fake,' and feels gratified every time Roger laughs at it.
