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valmoraTitle: Not a Big Girl Now
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Bleach
Characters: Kenpachi. Yachiru. "Dumbass boys."
Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine.
Summary: The boys discover Yachiru.
Warning: Crack.
Yachiru hasn't ridden on his shoulders for a long time, but she's still pink-haired Yachiru with the little voice that screams "Blood!" as the best thing in the world.
What? It is, innit? He raised her right, he did.
Except it looks like he didn't. Because now boys keep bringing her flowers and she's not ripping their heads off.
The boys' heads, not the flowers, dumbass. She likes flowers. Kenpachi let her have a garden in Eleventh Division and is careful to bring her back blood after killing people so she can water the flowers. Makes 'em redder, which is always good.
And maybe the first clue was when Unohana pulled him aside and asked him if he knew what sort of changes Yachiru would be experiencing soon.
"Y'mean like tits?" he asked her, and she covered her mouth with her hand 'cause she doesn't like him swearing and said, "Like that."
"Don't be stupid," he told her. "She ain't crazy stupid like Hitsugaya."
And Unohana did something freaky and told him, "Zaraki-kun, she's already grown up."
It ain't nice to hit a lady, and anyway, Old Fart Yamamoto would be on his ass if he did. But Kenpachi wanted to. Yachiru ain't crazy stupid enough to grow up. He raised her better'n that.
Except maybe he didn't, 'cause now she's gone and gotten popular with the boys and he's hurting his jaw clenching his teeth so hard and feeling like pulling out the zanpakuto to get rid of the boys who're always hanging around the door waiting for her like they're not waiting for anything.
They lean on walls. Worst way to spend time. Better to rip the walls down - they stand up just fine on their own, don't they? Dumbass boys.
Did he remember to teach her how to rip off heads? He's not sure. He thinks he did, and if he didn't, he probably showed by example when she was little. Twist and pull, except you need to stomp on the feet first, and at her height...
She'd have no problem with it, now.
So why isn't she, damn it! And Kenpachi wouldn't mind doing it for her except she tells him not to, 'cause the boys give her such pretty red flowers.
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Bleach
Characters: Kenpachi. Yachiru. "Dumbass boys."
Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine.
Summary: The boys discover Yachiru.
Warning: Crack.
Yachiru hasn't ridden on his shoulders for a long time, but she's still pink-haired Yachiru with the little voice that screams "Blood!" as the best thing in the world.
What? It is, innit? He raised her right, he did.
Except it looks like he didn't. Because now boys keep bringing her flowers and she's not ripping their heads off.
The boys' heads, not the flowers, dumbass. She likes flowers. Kenpachi let her have a garden in Eleventh Division and is careful to bring her back blood after killing people so she can water the flowers. Makes 'em redder, which is always good.
And maybe the first clue was when Unohana pulled him aside and asked him if he knew what sort of changes Yachiru would be experiencing soon.
"Y'mean like tits?" he asked her, and she covered her mouth with her hand 'cause she doesn't like him swearing and said, "Like that."
"Don't be stupid," he told her. "She ain't crazy stupid like Hitsugaya."
And Unohana did something freaky and told him, "Zaraki-kun, she's already grown up."
It ain't nice to hit a lady, and anyway, Old Fart Yamamoto would be on his ass if he did. But Kenpachi wanted to. Yachiru ain't crazy stupid enough to grow up. He raised her better'n that.
Except maybe he didn't, 'cause now she's gone and gotten popular with the boys and he's hurting his jaw clenching his teeth so hard and feeling like pulling out the zanpakuto to get rid of the boys who're always hanging around the door waiting for her like they're not waiting for anything.
They lean on walls. Worst way to spend time. Better to rip the walls down - they stand up just fine on their own, don't they? Dumbass boys.
Did he remember to teach her how to rip off heads? He's not sure. He thinks he did, and if he didn't, he probably showed by example when she was little. Twist and pull, except you need to stomp on the feet first, and at her height...
She'd have no problem with it, now.
So why isn't she, damn it! And Kenpachi wouldn't mind doing it for her except she tells him not to, 'cause the boys give her such pretty red flowers.
