valmora | [snippet] posterificness (tGE AU)

This is also known as "I am psychologically incapable of saying 'no.'"

Title: posterificness
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: tGE AU
Pairing: gen, RJ (and von Luger)
Disclaimer: If I owned these guys, I'd be working for MGM/UA. I'm still working for my teachers.
Notes: This was supposed to be funny. Instead it's more stream-of-consciousness-y. And before you ask, Rupert and RJ are the same person. Rupert is RJ's "public identity," his cover, underneath which he can go about being himself. RJ thinks in stream of consciousness and omits capitalisation. Rupert is a grammar fiend. Herr von Luger's dialogue gets punctuated normally because he punctuates normally when he thinks.

It is the fifth day of class, Tuesday of the first full week of school, and Rupert is enjoying classes, looking forward to his refresher quiz in Chemistry 2, and feeling bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

rj fucking hates it wants to kill something or strangle an idiot and thank god for roger and sandy otherwise he'd have done it and there'd be a dead fucking body in the english hall and why in hell is he so damn tired he got six hours of sleep last night.

The teachers aren't sure what to think of this young man with his fine dark hair and his dress shirt and slacks and nice shoes, except that he is going to be a good student, and that all they've heard about him is good things - He writes excellent papers, he's very insightful, he's thoughtful, he's going to go far....

Whenever Roger hears them talking about Rupert he laughs and says, "Yeah, the guy's great, isn't he?" before proceeding to the bathroom nearest Rupert's locker and watching rj apply eyeliner black smears of it leaving trails that make his eyes soso blue and the fishnet-arm shirt logoed 'too lazy to overthrow the capitalist pigs' and the ripped jeans and the boots and suddenly Rupert is nowhere to be found.

But Rupert is to be found here, in the combined German 3/4 class, looking attentive and with a black Uni-ball liquid-ink pen and a fresh spiral notebook under his hand, ready to be the Perfect Student.

Until he looks around the classroom, at where the Sub has taken down the old assignments from the previous year and instead put up posters of Berlin and a painting of the Dresden cathedral before it was bombed and a "You are now leaving the American sector" sign in five languages and a Happy Bunny in German that he doesn't recognize and, hidden off in the corner where the department chair (a latin teacher go figure) won't see it, "Jammern ist für die Leute die zu dumm zu konzentrieren sïrd."

looks at it for a minute trying to translate 'thingy is for thingy who are too --'

and suddenly rj is laughing uncontrollable and keeled over his desk sandy stares and roger gapes and the teacher looks shell-shocked jaw dropped open and yeah it's that funny.

remembers that Rupert Does Not Laugh at jokes insulting other people tries to sober up can't can't owow cramping finally manages to stop and the sub looks afraid that "rupert" has gone crazy.

"I'm fine," Rupert says, and rj grins brightsharp at sandy and mouths "later."

after class Rupert Apologizes to Herr von Luger and rj on the way out says "like the poster, herr v, promise not to whine so you know i'm not stupid," and von luger looks surprised and gratified and suddenly much younger and says "You laughed, so I knew you were bright already."