[The Daily Show] Bears and Bulls(hit) (Stewart & Colbert)

[valmora]

Title: Bears and Bulls(hit)
Rating: PG-13, light R if you count some language
Fandom: The Daily Show (etc)
Characters: Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, gay jokes
Disclaimer: The situations described in this work are not based on reality, nor does this work mean to imply that the situations herein are truthful (nor does it mention the situations herein to malign the character or integrity of the people mentioned). No money was made from the creation of this work and all associated intellectual rights with the work belong to the individuals mentioned and the organizations that employ them.
Translation: This isn't true. And I didn't get dough from it.
Warnings: Vaguely darkfic - not in an angsty sense, I guess. Just cynicism.
Summary: The liberals win the election, so it means Jon and Stephen just aren't funny any more.



The day the American people elects a liberal president is the last day that Jon and Stephen are really, truly popular. And say what you want, about how the two of them can really understand the other side, that doesn't stop them from being true-blues. Not true-blue Americans, necessarily, though they are that (despite what the right-wing mud-slingers would say), but true-blue bleeding-heart liberals.

It's kind of hard to be a freedom fighter when the guys you're fighting for are suddenly in the majority. It's unsporting to pick on the G.O.P. when it's discredited by the right-wing adherents and less-powerful, but it's also no fun to poke hypocritical holes in the guys you voted for (although Stephen's used to Chicago politicians/crooks, so he's better at it), because afterwards you feel like you voted for the wrong guy. Maybe.

So suddenly everything's too easy and it's not fun anymore. After all, Jon and Stephen have the kind of humor that really only works when you're oppressed; the moment the guys you're complaining about have fallen from their pedestal, continuing to pick on them is like kicking someone while he's unconscious on the ground. People start to just see you as a bully, rather than funny; nobody likes Goliath. They may not like David so much (carrying on with some of Saul's kids* and then Bathsheba too), but they'll always prefer him.

So it takes a while for the ratings to show it, but all of a sudden the network is pulling Stephen off the air - the guys in power don't like to see him humiliating Congresspeople anymore, since it's too much like Ali G, and now he's mocking the Dems more virulently than he is any other party. Having the party in power mocked is real fun when it's not you. So Stephen goes.

He joins the Daily Show again, of course; Jon told him when he left that if he ever wanted, he could have a spot - and Stephen promised the same thing, like best friends in elementary school or politics; I'll scratch your back if you'll scratch mine. So he takes the offer and his wife thinks Jon is great, a great guy. No hard feelings.

---

After a while, maybe two years - well, actually, a little more than two years, because they had to wait for a Democratic majority in Congress before Jon really stopped being funny except to hard-core liberals - after the election, Jon isn't The Daily Show any longer. He gets a shitty time slot on Tuesdays and Thursdays and nothing else. Someone on staff calls it 'the beginning of the end,' and Stephen has enough restraint not to show his annoyance. The beginning was way back there when the GOP's approval ratings went down the toilet and an actual majority of Americans decided they'd lost faith in it.

Of course, the social jokes still work: talking about the idiocy of the American people in general (who are still dumb, just voters who agree in some ways with Stephen and Jon), the religion-mocking, the gay jokes, poking fun at celebrities. Mel Gibson is still good for a few laughs every time he gets drunk, especially when it's Jon doing the jokes, and Britney Spears won't stop being pathetic as long as she's still fertile. The Congresspeople don't visit as much any more; it's not a prime spot on TV, but coming out is still controversial (which is why the staffers still laugh when, coming offstage, Stephen cracks a joke about how of course they can't get married; not only is the sex better when you're in sin, but the cost of the broken wineglass in the wedding ceremony would be prohibitive). The jokes are endless, but only if someone's listening.

So Jon and Stephen helped the Dems win, and it was the end of their shows, or at least, the heydays of the shows they had. Something better will come along; they'll be funny again when some moron from the GOP who's in favor of deficit spending and reducing taxes and energy-inefficiency gets elected again. They're biding their time, like a lion in wait who happens to be taking a midday nap while his bitches do the real hunting. All Jon and Stephen have to do is wait for the politicians to make themselves easy prey.




* Michal and, appropriately enough, Jonathan.

Comments

[8linepoem.livejournal.com]

it's a terrifying concept, but i loved the way you wrote it.

[valmora.livejournal.com]

it's a terrifying concept
I think so. But I also think that while Colbert's and Stewart's careers as comedians are dependent upon conservatives being in office, everything goes in cycles - so yes, there will be liberals in office again, just as after the liberals are in office the conservatives will regain power, over and over again (which is kind of what I tried to get at). But yes, terrifying because I think their ideological success will mean their personal failure to a certain degree.

i loved the way you wrote it
Thanks. =D

[jordfallsmotet.livejournal.com]

mm, saying this makes me feel like a pretentious fuck, but this reminds me of something I wrote a long time ago. I love this kind of writing.

[valmora.livejournal.com]

reminds me of something I wrote a long time ago
Do you have a link? I'd be interested in reading it. Besides, pretentious fucking just interconnects the fandom.

I love this kind of writing.
I'm glad you do. =D Sometimes I feel it's almost too summary-esque, but I think that's best for the tone I wanted to set.

[erinptah]

Good writing indeed.

This reminds me of a question that cartoonist Tom Tomorrow (of This Modern World) was asked when Bill Clinton took office: "What are you going to do now that the liberals are in power? Where are you going to get your jokes?"

To which he basically replied, "Look, Clinton's a pro-business politician." He's not perfect, and he's certainly not going to leave the comedians high and dry.

(Besides, Newt Gingrich and Ken Starr cropped up and became easy targets.)

Although the prospect of no Daily Show is a heart-stopping one (and you evoked the grimness of it very well, by the way), it won't be keeping me up at night. Because if the politics of this country and this planet truly advance so far that they become unmockable, then we will have achieved something much more profound than a Democratic majority. It'll be a great time to be alive.

(Know why Dante's writing about Hell is a classic, but his writing about Heaven is generally forgotten? It's because Heaven is boring. If things are perfect, it's nice to experience but not interesting to hear about. It's the same way here; it's the way you handled the Jon-and-Stephen tragedy that makes this work so well.)

Nifty ending. *Gubernator voice* They'll be bahk. =D

</rambling>

[valmora.livejournal.com]

certainly not going to leave the comedians high and dry
Of course. =D I took certain liberties with the situations.

advance so far that they become unmockable
One hopes that eventually we will reach that point - but, I mean, to sound like a total and utter fangirl by quoting Jon Stewart, the country is run by fanatics because 'normal people have shit to do'. So it's probably never going to get there because there's always going to be people who are way on the other side of the spectrum from any sort of decision.

To get back to fic, what I really meant to say was not that the politicians are unmockable - people are always mockable; that's part of human nature - but that the Daily Show/Colbert Report's brand of humour, like anything else, falls in and out of fashion.

it's the way you handled the Jon-and-Stephen tragedy that makes this work so well
Thanks. =D I'm glad you liked it.

*Gubernator voice* They'll be bahk.
One hopes so. =D The world would certainly be filled with more unmocked egos who need to be taken down a few pegs, but with style and humour.

[erinptah]

to sound like a total and utter fangirl by quoting Jon Stewart

I want to use that quote on a regular basis; it's not just you =3

And I just noticed what you have your name set as. That thar's mighty clever, that is. *nods*

[valmora.livejournal.com]

it's not just you
Oh, good. I was beginning to think I should go into politics.

That thar's mighty clever, that is.
I got it off a list of anonymous snappy sayings, I think - I certainly didn't make it up! ^_^;

[erinptah]

I am going into politics ^_~ Or at least, into a political science major. From there, we'll see.

You have good taste in snappy sayings =) *+friends*

[valmora.livejournal.com]

I am going into politics
Oh dear. Well, good luck. =D

You have good taste in snappy sayings
Thank you. =D

[death-by-spork.livejournal.com]

You are entirely correct. And said all of my thoughts, only you were eloquent about it.

And I love your name. "Never moon a werewolf." heh

[floweringjudas.livejournal.com]

DAVID AND JONATHAN YAY!

Also I really liked this. The cynicism of it. *nods* V. good.

[valmora.livejournal.com]

DAVID AND JONATHAN YAY!
It's my Biblical OTP. XD

The cynicism of it.
I'm glad you liked. =D

[froglett-29.livejournal.com]

Everyone's already pointed out pretty much what I wanted to say: the wonderful writing, the dark cynicism...I just really, really like it. It's a concept I've thought about before, and you wrote it perfectly. :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/shardsofdreams_/]

Interesting concept, and very good execution. Luckily, or unluckily, depending what part you're talking about, I have a feeling this won't happen, because even if we get a liberal majority, we still have that annoying conservative minority, plus, as you point out, basically the rest of the world. Plus, the conservatives seem to be doing a very good job playing the oppressed good guys even though they're the rich majority. So the reverse could be true as well.

[valmora.livejournal.com]

I have a feeling this won't happen
Probably not in the way I've described it, no.

conservatives seem to be doing a very good job playing the oppressed good guys
Depends on which ones you're talking about, but in some cases, yes.

they're the rich majority
Anything between 50 and 60% of the vote is not a majority by any means. It just means the other side had bad weather and didn't come out, or that someone falsified the electronic machines.

But I do think that the scenario I've described is one that in all likelihood won't happen, just because - well, that's not how human nature works. But it is, in the darkest of ways, how politics can work, which I think is what I wanted to get across.

[mistresstoaster.livejournal.com]

*gasps* that's horrible....but terribly interesting to read. So very sad. But a neat concept :P

[politislash-d.livejournal.com]

I'm almost afraid to say anything because I know you'll reply. (:

This was honest and I mean that in a completely complimentary way. Very hard-hitting. Also, yay for Bibical OTPs. I prefer Peter/Paul myself.

[valmora.livejournal.com]

because I know you'll reply
Oh, dear. I didn't mean to be that intimidating. D: Just say the Wørd word and I'll delete this comment.

Seriously, though, if you have anything bad to say or whatever, go for it. I'm strong and I love edits.

completely complimentary way
Thanks. =D

I prefer Peter/Paul myself.
Not really a New Testament kind of reader myself, but I'm always in for new fandoms. XD

[rockinhamburger.livejournal.com]

Well, okay, I liked it. But that would never happen. Jon doesn't so much make fun of the conservatives as he makes fun of the system itself. That includes the media, pop culture, and - of course - politics.

But it was cute!