valmora: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail": King Arthur abusing a peasant, captioned "Help, help, I'm being repressed!" (repression)
[personal profile] valmora
Title: Dogs and Bees
Fandom: Hetalia
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Finland, Sealand, Finland/Sweden
Disclaimer: not mine
Notes: originally posted here at the kink meme based on this prompt, here at the kindex.

Summary: Sealand caught an eyeful. Finland (with some help from Hana-Tamago) does damage control.



Finland had become good at recognizing when his son was troubled, and better at getting the story out of him. He just needed an opportunity, and sometimes Hana-Tamago’s cooperation.

He was already waiting on the floor of the living room, giving a happily tongue-lolling Hana-Tamago belly-rubs, when the front door swung open.

“Welcome home,” he called to Sealand, who looked up from taking off his shoes and went a little pale. “Come sit with me. I think Hana-Tamago missed you while you were at the conference.”

“All right.” Sealand walked over and sat Indian-style on the other side of Hana-Tamago from Finland.

“How was your day?” Finland kept his voice neutral, his hands steady on Hana-Tamago’s belly.

“Boring,” Sealand said. “I don’t have to worry about land borders. Just international waters, and I already knew all about that.”

Hana-Tamago rolled back onto his feet and moved to nuzzle Sealand’s shin, whole body wagging in concert with his tail.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Did you write the organizers a letter?”

“Yeah.” Sealand scritched at the back of Hana-Tamago’s neck.

“Good.” Finland scooted forward a few centimeters, leaning to pet Hana-Tamago’s side. Hana-Tamago wiggled happily, as though torn between leaning into Sealand’s neck ministrations and Finland petting his side.

Sealand bit his lip. “So last Tuesday when I was doing research in my room, I wanted a glass for water and came downstairs. But there was…was that…what were you and Sweden doing?”

What were they doing indeed. Oh – yes. That. “The physical act, or as Nations?”

Hana-Tamago sneezed.

“Both!” Sealand flushed.

Finland drew his thumb over one of Hana-Tamago’s ribs. Although he’d had this conversation with Åland, that had been many years ago, with Sweden’s help, and never because Åland had seen them. “Sometimes two Nations will have very close ties. Usually this means that they’re good friends, or related. Like Russia and Ukraine are brother and sister.” He didn’t mention America and Canada, an unfortunate and incestuous example. At least Sealand didn’t have to talk to Belarus on a daily basis. “But sometimes two countries will be very close, or united into one country. Then sometimes two Nations will fall in love and want to share more than just trade goods. Maybe diplomatic conferences, cultural exchange, mutual defense treaties. Nations who have special relationships like that will sometimes,” no way around it, “have sex.” Right there on cue, Finland felt himself flush bright red. How did he and Sweden cope with this with Åland, again?

“Was that what you were doing?”

“Yes.”

Hana-Tamago’s tail whacked Finland’s wrist. He looked down and realized that Hana-Tamago was also drooling in doggy affection on Sealand’s fingers.

“But you and Sweden aren’t married, like Bosnia and Herzegovina.”

“No. We were a long time ago, but after World War Two we decided to stay independent. That doesn’t mean we don’t love each other.”

“You didn’t look like you were having fun. Sweden was really…” Sealand blushed and stared at the carpet.

“Sex is different for different people. You know how it works?” Sealand nodded. “There are some things that people, and Nations too, can do that they enjoy that other people might not. Some people like to be tied up with ropes or handcuffs, or like to wear certain clothes.” Which was enough to keep Sealand a little sane if he ever stumbled in on Germany and Italy at a conference. “Most people like to keep the things they prefer during sex secret, for only them and their partner.”

“If it’s supposed to be a secret, then how come you and Sweden, on the kitchen table…?”

Finland winced internally. “Sweden feels most comfortable around things he’s made. What we were doing is easier if both people relax.”

“So it hurts a lot?”

“Nobody was hurting.” A non-denial denial, the refuge of politicians and Nations everywhere. Nobody was hurting who wasn’t already keening with pleasure from it.

Oh – oh no. Now was not the time to be remembering Sweden bent over the kitchen table, moaning into the wood, warm under Finland's hands. Finland wasn’t going to be able to play ‘sniper home from the Winter War’ for years without being suffused with guilt.

“I guess that’s okay, then,” Sealand said, fidgeting. Hana-Tamago whined forlornly and nosed at Sealand’s hand in hopes of more petting. “I mean, it sounds gross.”

Finland toyed with Hana-Tamago’s ear fluff. “Maybe. I’m an adult. I can’t say.” In all likelihood Sealand wouldn’t need to use the information anytime soon. Thank goodness. Finland wanted a few more years before he had to start playing overprotective father again. Although he was looking forward to the mid-rifle-cleaning ‘break my son’s heart and I’ll kill you’ speech.

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