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valmoraTitle: Stepsiblings
Fandom: Hetalia
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Sealand-centric, England, Finland/Sweden, Åland
Disclaimer: not my characters, for the most part - there's no canon Åland yet - and I didn't make money.
Notes: originally posted for this prompt here at the kink meme and indexed here.
Also, after some rigorous thinking and soul-searching over being American, I made the judicious decision to translate Sweden's Tohoku regional accent (in the Japanese) as very casual, slightly Southern, American English. I would normally do a deeper Southern accent - Georgia or Alabama, likely - but I don't have enough confidence in my ability to show the inflections of those dialects that I opted not to.
(this is why I think it is bad and wrong to translate a Kansai accent as "Southern". The emotional inflections are wrong. Kyoto should be translated as Boston Brahmin, and Osaka and Kobe should be Chicago or New York, or maybe New Jersey. Edokko should really be New York.)
Sealand’s collar dug into his throat, almost choking him, but he resolved that he would never surrender, not to imperialist powers that denied the capability of Nations for self-determination-!
“You utter brat,” England snarled, “I should have taken a wrecking ball to you the moment I saw you, but I thought you’d be useful. Should have known you’d be at least as annoying as Åland and good riddance to that wanker’s militaristic ambitions. Should give all you proto-nation whelps to the fags; at least you’d learn to behave properly if only Finland would get off his back long enough to discipline you properly.”
Sealand tried to kick England, or wriggle out of the hold; instead England shifted his grip so he had Sealand in a neck lock. He dragged Sealand to the door of his house and tossed him out.
Sealand spilled out on the beach, hitting his tailbone on the way down. It stung.
“Tell Finland he’s bollocksing up his second chance at parenting,” England yelled out at him, and slammed the door.
Sealand stuck his tongue out at the closed door and thought about flipping England off, but then remembered that Finland washed his mouth out with soap the last time he caught Sealand doing that.
What did that even mean, second chance at parenting? He didn’t have any brothers, unless England counted, and he really didn’t because England was way too old. Plus, Finland didn’t raise England; that was Rome.
Sealand stomped off to Finland’s to settle this. England was a jerk for lying, and Sealand wanted to prove it once and for all.
“Finland! Fin-land!” Sealand yelled once he’d closed the front door and taken off his shoes. There was no response, so he shouted again and tramped into the kitchen.
“Y’din’t need t’yell,” Sweden told him gently, from where he was leaning his hip into the kitchen counter, nursing a cup of coffee while Finland kneaded rye bread for dinner. “We’re right here.”
“I couldn’t see you,” Sealand mumbled, embarrassed.
Sweden grunted.
Finland gave the dough a final fold and stood back to brush flour off his hands. “You're back early. What’s so important that you came running all the way home?”
“Well, I was visiting England,” Sealand said, “and he said some mean things that I didn’t answer aren’t you proud of me Sweden but do I have an older brother?”
Finland and Sweden did that weird married-people communication-thing where they looked at each other and had a whole conversation without saying anything.
“You’ve met Åland,” Finland said carefully. “Remember Christmas dinner?”
Sealand thought back. There had been someone else at Christmas dinner, but Sweden and Finland always invited their counties and administrative divisions to holiday parties. Sealand just assumed that that the stranger had been having a bad fiscal year and Sweden and Finland were feeding him out of kindness.
“Kind of. Who’s he?”
Finland tucked a lock of hair back behind his ear, smearing rye flour across his cheek and in his hair. “Well,” he said, “he’s an island about halfway between me and Sweden. He’s technically one of my administrative divisions, but he’s officially autonomous.”
“If he’s part of you then how come he’s my brother?”
Finland bit his lip. Sweden stared into his coffee mug.
“Culture mixing,” Sweden said finally. “He’s more like me than like Finland. We both raised ’im.”
Finland opened his mouth, like he wanted to say something, then shut it.
“But just b’cause we raised 'm doesn’t mean we don’t love y’,” Sweden added quickly. “You’re our son too.”
“How come he’s never here?”
“He has his own house. He and I had a diplomatic incident after I left Russia, because he wanted to live with Sweden and I wanted him to stay with me. So now he lives by himself.”
“Huh.” Sealand noded, picking a cookie off a plate on the counter and eating it. “Is it okay if I go take a walk outside?”
“Sure,” Sweden said. “But bring‘n umbrella 'n don’t go past th’borders of the North Sea.”
Sealand rolled his eyes a little as he went to pick up his umbrella. He wasn’t a baby, after all.
It was a small house, but looked snug, and had lots of windows. Most of them faced out at the sea.
The doorbell chimed when he pressed it, and a bird cheeped from the roof while strutting about.
“Can I help you?”
Sealand jumped and turned, surprised to find the door open and someone looking confused at him.
“Hi um I’m looking for Åland?”
“Speaking.”
Åland looked a lot like Sweden, actually, but he was a lot younger and wasn’t as tall and didn’t constantly look like he wanted to cook you and eat you for dinner. And he didn’t speak in mumble.
“I just wanted to say hi because I don’t think I’ve met you. I guess I’m your little brother?” Sealand stuck out his hand to shake.
“We’ve met,” Åland said shortly. “I’ve got something on the stove. You coming in or you leaving?”
“Coming in,” Sealand said.
Åland stood aside so that Sealand could come in, then strode off towards the back of the house. Something smelled good, so Sealand sniffed his way down a well-lit front hall into the kitchen, where Åland was stirring a soup pot.
“I’d offer you a cookie or something,” Åland said, “but I know that they leave them sitting out on the counter as snacks so you know whose fault it is if you eat yourself sick. So I bet you don’t want one. Something to drink?”
“Just water, please,” Sealand said, to be polite, and sat down at the kitchen table.
Åland plopped a glass of water down on the table in front of him. No ice. “So what brings you here?”
“Nothing. I just wanted to see my big brother, I guess.” Sealand shifted in his seat and drank a little of the water so Åland wouldn’t notice him blushing.
“Huh,” Åland said, the way Sweden would. He sat down at the table across from Sealand and folded his arms on top of the table, and for a minute he looked a lot like Finland, but with just-darker hair and narrower eyes.
“And Sweden and Finland I think wanted to go have sex,” Sealand added, to be honest. “Finland was going to have to wait for the bread to rise and the lube and condoms were in a corner of the counter, like they think I’m not going to notice.”
Åland laughed so hard he fell out of his chair onto the floor. Sealand ended up calling Sweden and Finland to say he was eating dinner with his brother.
Fandom: Hetalia
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Sealand-centric, England, Finland/Sweden, Åland
Disclaimer: not my characters, for the most part - there's no canon Åland yet - and I didn't make money.
Notes: originally posted for this prompt here at the kink meme and indexed here.
Also, after some rigorous thinking and soul-searching over being American, I made the judicious decision to translate Sweden's Tohoku regional accent (in the Japanese) as very casual, slightly Southern, American English. I would normally do a deeper Southern accent - Georgia or Alabama, likely - but I don't have enough confidence in my ability to show the inflections of those dialects that I opted not to.
(this is why I think it is bad and wrong to translate a Kansai accent as "Southern". The emotional inflections are wrong. Kyoto should be translated as Boston Brahmin, and Osaka and Kobe should be Chicago or New York, or maybe New Jersey. Edokko should really be New York.)
Sealand’s collar dug into his throat, almost choking him, but he resolved that he would never surrender, not to imperialist powers that denied the capability of Nations for self-determination-!
“You utter brat,” England snarled, “I should have taken a wrecking ball to you the moment I saw you, but I thought you’d be useful. Should have known you’d be at least as annoying as Åland and good riddance to that wanker’s militaristic ambitions. Should give all you proto-nation whelps to the fags; at least you’d learn to behave properly if only Finland would get off his back long enough to discipline you properly.”
Sealand tried to kick England, or wriggle out of the hold; instead England shifted his grip so he had Sealand in a neck lock. He dragged Sealand to the door of his house and tossed him out.
Sealand spilled out on the beach, hitting his tailbone on the way down. It stung.
“Tell Finland he’s bollocksing up his second chance at parenting,” England yelled out at him, and slammed the door.
Sealand stuck his tongue out at the closed door and thought about flipping England off, but then remembered that Finland washed his mouth out with soap the last time he caught Sealand doing that.
What did that even mean, second chance at parenting? He didn’t have any brothers, unless England counted, and he really didn’t because England was way too old. Plus, Finland didn’t raise England; that was Rome.
Sealand stomped off to Finland’s to settle this. England was a jerk for lying, and Sealand wanted to prove it once and for all.
“Finland! Fin-land!” Sealand yelled once he’d closed the front door and taken off his shoes. There was no response, so he shouted again and tramped into the kitchen.
“Y’din’t need t’yell,” Sweden told him gently, from where he was leaning his hip into the kitchen counter, nursing a cup of coffee while Finland kneaded rye bread for dinner. “We’re right here.”
“I couldn’t see you,” Sealand mumbled, embarrassed.
Sweden grunted.
Finland gave the dough a final fold and stood back to brush flour off his hands. “You're back early. What’s so important that you came running all the way home?”
“Well, I was visiting England,” Sealand said, “and he said some mean things that I didn’t answer aren’t you proud of me Sweden but do I have an older brother?”
Finland and Sweden did that weird married-people communication-thing where they looked at each other and had a whole conversation without saying anything.
“You’ve met Åland,” Finland said carefully. “Remember Christmas dinner?”
Sealand thought back. There had been someone else at Christmas dinner, but Sweden and Finland always invited their counties and administrative divisions to holiday parties. Sealand just assumed that that the stranger had been having a bad fiscal year and Sweden and Finland were feeding him out of kindness.
“Kind of. Who’s he?”
Finland tucked a lock of hair back behind his ear, smearing rye flour across his cheek and in his hair. “Well,” he said, “he’s an island about halfway between me and Sweden. He’s technically one of my administrative divisions, but he’s officially autonomous.”
“If he’s part of you then how come he’s my brother?”
Finland bit his lip. Sweden stared into his coffee mug.
“Culture mixing,” Sweden said finally. “He’s more like me than like Finland. We both raised ’im.”
Finland opened his mouth, like he wanted to say something, then shut it.
“But just b’cause we raised 'm doesn’t mean we don’t love y’,” Sweden added quickly. “You’re our son too.”
“How come he’s never here?”
“He has his own house. He and I had a diplomatic incident after I left Russia, because he wanted to live with Sweden and I wanted him to stay with me. So now he lives by himself.”
“Huh.” Sealand noded, picking a cookie off a plate on the counter and eating it. “Is it okay if I go take a walk outside?”
“Sure,” Sweden said. “But bring‘n umbrella 'n don’t go past th’borders of the North Sea.”
Sealand rolled his eyes a little as he went to pick up his umbrella. He wasn’t a baby, after all.
It was a small house, but looked snug, and had lots of windows. Most of them faced out at the sea.
The doorbell chimed when he pressed it, and a bird cheeped from the roof while strutting about.
“Can I help you?”
Sealand jumped and turned, surprised to find the door open and someone looking confused at him.
“Hi um I’m looking for Åland?”
“Speaking.”
Åland looked a lot like Sweden, actually, but he was a lot younger and wasn’t as tall and didn’t constantly look like he wanted to cook you and eat you for dinner. And he didn’t speak in mumble.
“I just wanted to say hi because I don’t think I’ve met you. I guess I’m your little brother?” Sealand stuck out his hand to shake.
“We’ve met,” Åland said shortly. “I’ve got something on the stove. You coming in or you leaving?”
“Coming in,” Sealand said.
Åland stood aside so that Sealand could come in, then strode off towards the back of the house. Something smelled good, so Sealand sniffed his way down a well-lit front hall into the kitchen, where Åland was stirring a soup pot.
“I’d offer you a cookie or something,” Åland said, “but I know that they leave them sitting out on the counter as snacks so you know whose fault it is if you eat yourself sick. So I bet you don’t want one. Something to drink?”
“Just water, please,” Sealand said, to be polite, and sat down at the kitchen table.
Åland plopped a glass of water down on the table in front of him. No ice. “So what brings you here?”
“Nothing. I just wanted to see my big brother, I guess.” Sealand shifted in his seat and drank a little of the water so Åland wouldn’t notice him blushing.
“Huh,” Åland said, the way Sweden would. He sat down at the table across from Sealand and folded his arms on top of the table, and for a minute he looked a lot like Finland, but with just-darker hair and narrower eyes.
“And Sweden and Finland I think wanted to go have sex,” Sealand added, to be honest. “Finland was going to have to wait for the bread to rise and the lube and condoms were in a corner of the counter, like they think I’m not going to notice.”
Åland laughed so hard he fell out of his chair onto the floor. Sealand ended up calling Sweden and Finland to say he was eating dinner with his brother.
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no subject
Date: 2011-12-22 05:56 am (UTC)I think Hetalia is adorable. I think history is horrifying. I'm perfectly fine with merging them for the sake of education and/or entertainment. I know a lot more about Europe now than I did 3 months ago, and I don't see how that can be a bad thing.
I wanted to write fluffy fics, but I can't come up with any kind of plot, ever, and thought history would help, but then history is pretty much not fluffy at all.
Anyway, if I'm disturbed by reading non-fluffy fic, it's my fault for choosing to read it, not yours for writing it.
I wouldn't have said anything if the condoms had come up if just this fic, but they were in another one, too. And under other circumstances, I wouldn't have thought anything of it, but in these two fics specifically Sweden and Finland appear to be happily married. And I know there are happy poly and open marriages, but since that wasn't brought up in the fics, I assume these two are monogamous and together long-term. I would have thought they weren't worried about pregnancy, but who knows how nations reproduce (Sve did have a child with the US... did they use a condom? *curious* if so, then barrier methods apparently don't prevent parenthood in nations, anyway. Plus, they're both men, so... *shrug*) Um, oh, STDs - if they've been together and monogamous for very long, why would they worry? Unless one of them is infected with something, and if so, what? Nations don't get diseases quite the same as humans do, far as I can tell.
Basically, I want a guide to your headcanon, because it appears to differ from mine, and touches on things I haven't even thought about.
That's not a demand. I'm just blabbing at you.
Thank you for writing!
no subject
Date: 2011-12-22 09:14 pm (UTC)I don't think that NOT incorporating history is necessarily something one should be ashamed of when writing Hetalia fic, but the awareness that the characters are meant to represent countries is also important to keep in mind. =D
re:condom stuff:
A number of my Hetalia pieces (very very few of which are in the same "mental continuity"/headcanon) were written during a period when I was feeling particularly upset about the lack of protection and safe sex in fanfiction, even in circumstances where it would be warranted.
Partially I include it in these fics because:
1) keep down the mess
2) depending on the continuity of a given fic, they've been together for more or fewer years, with more or fewer partners in the intervening years.
3) why not! I wanted to do something a little different, and show something that had a few more elements of "reality" in them.
I totally understand why this would be a topic you'd want to bring up, since fanfiction is a "fantasy space", and condoms are usually not part of people's fantasy, since they're reminders of how dangerous sex can be.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-22 11:08 pm (UTC)How fun! don't suppose you have that posted anywhere?
I've read fics that are human AUs with no or very little connection to history, and those can be great fluffy fun. And I've read very historically accurate fics, which are usually better but I can't read too much at once (I've been working through Eight Men for a week, and I'm still only on chapter 4, I think - need lots of breaks) and there's a lot of stuff in between and it all has a place. Or maybe some of it doesn't. I don't care; if I don't like it I don't have to read it.
I don't really care about the fantasy aspect that much. Actually in a human fic, first time, with characters that have been sexually active before, I get a little twitchy if they don't use condoms. Nations I don't worry about it, because even their biology is fictional, so who's to say they even need them. Established long-term relationships I don't expect them, unless there's some compelling reason that's important to the story. I don't use them. I'd rather deal with the mess. Now if I were going to have sex with someone other than my husband, I'd use something, yeah. XD
"Why not?" is an excellent reason!
no subject
Date: 2011-12-23 06:07 am (UTC)Unfortunately, as it was written under my real name, if I did have it posted anywhere (which I don't, though I have been considering it), I wouldn't tell you. ^_^;;
no subject
Date: 2011-12-23 08:49 am (UTC)